Remember the part in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the book, not that pitiful excuse for a movie, you infidel) in which greedy, gum-chewing Violet Beauregarde grabs the (hitherto unperfected) Wonka's magic chewing gum? The gum is a substitute for a complete meal of tomato soup, roast beef, and blueberry pie. Violet turns into a big fat blueberry.
That's all I could think of when I read about this new product. Now, Atkins and South Beach dieters can still experience the joy of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner with carb-free, calorie-free beverages purporting to taste like mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted turkey, green bean casserole, cranberry, and fruitcake.
I suspect that the marketing geniuses at Jones Soda didn't actually read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. If they did, they certainly didn't understand that Roald Dahl's "meal in a stick of gum" is a larger part of a cautionary tale. There's no such thing as a free lunch.
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